The Next big issue for Orthodox LGT Jews

With so many pressing issues concerning Orthodox LGT people, which issue should YCT support first? Marriage? Coming Out? Or Something else entirely?

In my last post I talked about meeting YCT’s Director of LGBTQ+ Initiatives. He had shared a plethora of meaningful concerns and questions LGT people and their Rabbis face. Questions about LGT relationships, coming out and identity, and questions about LGT participation in shuls. All very meaningful and important issues. These issues were identified as the most important, most pressing issues concerning LGT people within Orthodoxy today. 

However, I think there is one issue more important than all of these questions, one that lays at the foundation of moving the Orthodox LGT conversation forward, one that didnt even make the list- having Torah Scholars who are LGT themselves, able to serve as role models to both the straight Orthodox community and Orthodox LGT community of what it means to live an Orthodox life as a gay person.

How does an Orthodox gay Jew navigate their religious obligations while being true to themselves? Which aspect of identity takes precedence- being gay or being Orthodox? How do religious gay Jews relate, fit into, and understand the larger LGBT narrative?

Before we can allow, support, or encourage- coming out, gay relationships, gay participation in communal life- we, the Orthodox and the LGT communities, need to articulate what life as an Orthodox gay Jew looks like. What are people coming out to be? What future can people expect to have? How can people balance their religious and sexual identities? There needs to be people who can demonstrate that an Orthodox Jewish life is possible for gay Jews.

The Orthodox community- especially those who are resistant to accepting LGT people- need to see real life examples of Torah observance and Orthodox scholarship by LGT people. The fear that accepting LGT people will lead to an erosion of Torah values and observance holds sway for many people and Rabbis. And for good reason! The Torah is the life blood of the Jewish people, without it we would not be here today and life would have far less vibrancy. Life without Shabbos and Tefillah is unimaginable. 

The LGT community also needs role models, people who can articulate a values-based life that rejects much of the messaging of the broader, secular LGBTQ+ community. As Orthodox Jews we are familiar with the fact that Secular Culture often is at odds with Orthodox values and morals, and LGBTQ+ issues are no different. While Orthodox LGT people want acceptance, we do not want to remake the Orthodox community into a different version of Secular Culture. LGT people need role models who can embody this stance- commitment to halachic observance, clear articulation of religious morals, and acceptance of LGT identity. We also need to see, know, and feel that our observance is just as important as our straight counterparts. 

Sadly, there are few who currently are able, or willing, to be role models for others of an Orthodox gay life. Sure, Rabbis Greenberg and Atwood are out, have partners, and have been vocal about LGBT issues in the Orthodox community. However both readily admit to not being Orthodox. They both identify, at least on occasion, as “traditionally observant”. Which is perfectly fine, it just means that they are not role models for the Orthodox community.

That is why I pushed YCTs Director of LGBTQ+ Initiatives on the need for YCT to accept gay students into its Beit Midrash. The Orthodox community- both LGT and straight- are in desperate need for LGT role models who are talmidei chachamim- able to learn and teach Torah at a high level, live lives of meticulous mitzvah observance, and embody the struggle of Orthodox LGT people. YCT needs to open its Beit Midrash to gay students if it wants to play a part in articulating a vision of Orthodox LGT life.

And that is where the Director and I parted ways. From his, and YCTs, perspective they want to help highlight, lift up, and create a safe space for Orthodox LGT people to come out, speak up, and set the example themselves. They want a grassroots movement that doesn’t implicate YCT as the originator of Orthodox LGT perspectives. To me this is a grave mistake.