I recently spoke to YCTs new Director of LGBTQ+ Initiatives and came away realising how much YCT is ceding authority of what it means to be an Orthodox LGT Jew to others.
When I first heard about YCTs new Director of LGBTQ Initiatives I was surprised and hopeful. YCT has struggled with how to address the LGT question for over a decade now. Pulled between compassion for LGT people and commitment to halacha they have had no idea how to move forward. YCT does recognize the need and urgency of LGT Jews but rather than having a well thought out plan or organising principles of how to deal with LGT questions, YCT has defaulted to half hazard reactions that do more harm than good.
Now YCT is asking “what is the next step we can help our Orthodox communities take regarding LGBTQ+ issues?” Their Director of LGBTQ+ went on a “Listening Tour”and some of the main responses were:
- Can LGT people convert to Judaism?
- How do shuls deal with lgbt families, especially those with children?
- How to create safe spaces for LGT people, especially young people, to come out (which already assumes they should)?
- Can LGT people get married in some type of Jewish ceremony?
- What types of relationships are allowed- or able to be encouraged- for lgbt people?
- How to deal with the area of sexual expression for Orthodox LGT people?
- How can Orthodox shuls include LGT members- in shul member/family directories, giving Torah honours, being shliach tzibur, etc?
These questions are important and affect the lives of many Orthodox LGT people. For years there has been a consistent lack of guidance for how Orthodox LGT people can fit into an Orthodox shul community. Orthodox LGT Jews are in constant limbo at best, and fear at worst, as to what is expected of them, if they will be accepted- and based on what conditions, and whether it is safe to tell others in their community about their identity.
Coming out- to oneself, family, friends, and community members- is fraught with complexities. Questions like- will the Rabbi take it as a personal attack against him, or against halacha, if I come out? How will I answer for behaviours, common in the non-religious community that I refuse to partake in, precisely because I am Orthodox? Will I be barred from community events, educational opportunities, or participation in community life once I come out? If I do have an accepting Rabbi now, what happens if I or he moves?
And if a person does come out- what are they coming out as? What does life look like for Orthodox LGT people? Does it differ from other Orthodox people? And if not why is there so much tension around being LGT- even without action, relationships, or activism? When a teenager or young adult comes out- what life within the Orthodox community is imaginable for them? What life can they expect to have within the Orthodox community?
YCT’s Director of LGBTQ+ has set out on a mission to listen to people- LGBT and Straight- about their needs and how YCT can provide guidance, support, and help advocate for tolerance, acceptance, and inclusion. While I came away from my conversation the Director with a sense of how serious YCT is taking this issue, he and I had some fundamental disagreements about what the next steps should be.
DatiHomo 